I Never Thought I Would Be Adressing This

For one I never imagined having a child with a learning disorder. Second I thought as a society we taught our kids better then to make fun of those with a learning disability.

So, yes my son has dyslexia. I thought I understood it. I don’t clearly. Because since his diagnosis I’ve been learning more and more. I also found a group called Decoding Dyslexia of Tennessee. Last night I found out on the tic toc app that there is a sound bite of Bella Thorne talking about when she was diagnosed. No biggie. We need more people to talk about it. Well, someone uploaded a clip from it and now, they are mocking and making fun of dyslexia. They know it’s wrong because they have titles that includes it is a joke don’t come for me. When most don’t even know what dyslexia is. Or what problems it actually I causes.

These kids struggle long before diagnosis knowing they are different but, not knowing why. I remember aiden asking several times if he was stupid. He’s actually gifted. Then, they get shy trying to write things. Reading aloud. Why? Because kids don’t understand what’s wrong. So, some laugh or make fun. These types of mocking only makes it harder for the ones that really struggle or are just finding out that’s why they struggle. They aren’t stupid. They can read. They can write. It takes practice and patience. In fact a lot are gifted. They learn different is all.

Me and other mothers and some teens have reached out to tic tok to try to get this sound bite removed along with the awful videos. I have a sense of humor and they aren’t even funny. Want funny talking about dyslexia? Night School. Its funny and even aiden loves it. These videos aren’t even funny. A good way to create laughter about this is to use it to teach about what it really is. Not what people think.

I get asked all the time so, aiden reads backwards…… no. I honestly didn’t realize there was a problem until I noticed a pattern in his writing. One it had not changed much since about 2nd grade. The spelling was not grade level. That’s how I knew something was up. He reads slowly but, gets lost and will read over parts over and over or sometimes skips parts. The worst comes to when he has to write. That’s anxiety for him big time.

So, please remember not all people with dyslexia are the same. It isn’t reading backwards. It’s actually a cognitive function issue for the most part.

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Adult Daughter Of A Dying Alcoholic

This is so hard to say. It’s hard to admit. It’s hard to talk about. Mostly because my father doesn’t want it out there because like most he’s ashamed.

Those new here I’m 38. My Dad is 62. He was married to his 2nd wife who I’ve not been a fan of forever. Dad’s drank since his teens but, seemed it got worse with her around.

Let’s back up to a month ago. Dad was sick. I was told his oxygen wasn’t holding well. Believable since he has COPD. Plus, only 1.5 lungs. I called him he was making zero sense. Normal with a very low oxygen level. He mentions he needs me to call his wife pick him up anf take him back to the hospital. I hear an unknown voice, “hun you are at the hospital”. I found out he was admitted. His wife had stepped out. Perfect chance to find out the truth since she won’t give it to me ever. I leave in a hurry with my youngest (He’s 12 now). I am met with a shaking, confused father. Who’s on an alarm bed and hallucinating. I got the nurse explained I’m his daughter. His wife is nuts and I want the truth. Hun, his in detox….what? Detox? I was confused. alcohol. I knew it was not sudden given the shakes and hallucinations. She asked me to stay until his wife returned. OK. He was more like dealing with a 2 year old at that point. well, then they brought his meds. He flipped into a crazy loon!!!! I had to shove my son out of the room to protect him.

fast forward a bit

He done an impatient stay to try to help with the mental health side. Comes home to a wife that bows at all wishes. Things go to shit. His wife of nearly 12 years leaves…..while dealing with all this. He’s getting more clear headed and sober now. crazy how that works. First it was temporary until something happened then an ultimatum was given to a 62 year old stubborn man who’s struggling. That went over as well as bathing a cat. She took his money. Left him with no idea how to do shit because she insisted she do it all.

So, here I am trying to pick up the pieces. Also, dealing with the fact he’s dying. His liver is done. Also, take care of my family. It’s a short version. I’ll write more in detail soon.

Mental Illness: Growing Up In A Toxic Home

It happens more then you think. Sometimes people don’t talk about it. If they do it’s only to those that they trust. Why? Embarrassment? They don’t want to hurt the other person because they still believe it’s their fault? They don’t want to ruin the image of their parents and/or siblings? Because they believe it’s their fault? I have seen it a lot. I have lived it. I have a parent that is honest about it. I have one that will likely never admit it and place the blame on whoever is around.

Growing Up

Yea, I didn’t have a perfect childhood. I don’t think anyone did. I grew up seeing alcoholism. Drug addiction. Domestic assault. Adultery. Violence. I also grew up thinking that I was loved at points in my life. But, parts no. Even at 38 I set and think, am I right? I still believe there was times I was on the bottom of the care list. It shifts blame to be honest. Some was my own teenage brain. Some was an addiction of sorts (not my own). I think that even at 38 that’s WHY I’M STILL IN THERAPY.

The greatest man I knew died when I was 4. My papaw. emphysema isn’t a joke. This is him……he thought I was the prettiest blonde girl ever and treated me like a princess. But, he treated women with respect period. I hate I didn’t have more time with him. Maybe I would’ve learned sooner how I should really be treated by men and not have to unlearn being afraid when a man raises their voice. Yes, he smoked a pipe. He kept some whiskey for sipping. But, he busted his ass for his family. He didn’t rule the roost by fear. He was a good man.


I don’t want to seem like I’m placing blame on who I am. I’m 38 I made the choice to try to change what I could and I’m working on the rest.

As Stated I Grew Up With 2 People That Suffered From Dependency And Adultery

Did it shape me? Absolutely! At first I acted out. Drugs, underage drinking, school trouble. It worked to shift attention for a short period then no one gave a shit what I did. I kept on until I was 20? I decided to change. I did to a point. See, I seen the bad side of alcohol abuse. Drug abuse. Prescription drug abuse. I seen it, I tried it. I decided fuck that I’m going a better route.

I didn’t do it all at once. It took time. But, I knew I would change because I wanted it. All my life I dealt with a hateful abusive drunk or a pilled out verbally abusive parent. I swore as a parent that I would do better. I like to think I have. Am I perfect? Hell no. Learn by mistake here lol. But, I’m sober and clean doing so!

When I was little I swore I wouldn’t drink. I wouldn’t smoke I wouldn’t use drugs. I did because it is what I knew. Then, I realized I’m becoming what I didn’t want to be! I had toxic relationships because that’s really all I seen growing up. I had 2 emotions. happy and angry. Because that’s all I seen. Fear too, which I figured out I was having only I projected it as rage. I am so much better on all that. Still got work to do.

Just Know These Things Still Haunt Us As Adults

So, before you go thinking it’s all your business stop and think who sees this side of me and don’t lie to yourself. If it only affects you then do you. Most the time it don’t. You hurt people and do damage that you are to much of a pussy to admit to let alone apologize for.

Now, as a mom my kids have never seen me high. Because I stopped that shit forever ago. They’ve never seen me drunk because I do not want to subject them to it. So, therefore they won’t be exposed in my care. Especially when one can’t control their mouth or actions.

This is important. If you have an addiction problem let me know and I will find you numbers for help in your area. Do not let addiction ruin your life of those you care for. Do not let it physically take your life while all those that care are left to wonder why you done this. Please!

The Beginning Of A Newish Chapter

So, yeah I’ve been quiet here a bit. Had a lot going on. I have adult braces. Not flattering. Check out my YouTube channel to see videos there is a link to a video in a older blog I’m sure. If not look up Monroe Fayte or Jennifer Stansberry.

Well, me and my husband have known for awhile our son has some struggles with writing. Sometimes its just a backwards letter or number to spelling we have to decode but, Aiden knows what it is. I have brought this up and had it brushed off as he’s young for his grade. Here you start school at 5 no sooner. You MUST be 5. Well, he turned 5 his first day of kindergarten. Yay aiden. So, yes he just turned 12 I mean August baby and is in the 7th grade.

Recently my husband found some work of his as they don’t really do homework at his school (they piled it on me when I went there). He points out that aiden has several misspellings of simple words. I am sure you can tell that English, writing, spelling isn’t my strong suit. It is my husband and daughters.

A 504 Meeting To Start The Year

See I do these twice a year because he had food allergies. At the first one I spoke with the principal who I adore. I express my concerns I know Aiden is very smart for his age. Yet some of his grades do not show this. She agrees to set up an S Team meeting to see what everyone else thinks. Well, cut to the chase they highly suspect he has a form of dyslexia. I thought this. My husband did as well but, we never spoke to one another about that being the underlying issue. He reads well silently. He comprehends well. He how ever can not read aloud well AT ALL. It is crazy to see the numbers on paper. He looks average to slightly above then he bottoms out on reading aloud. OK , so this is a typical thing with people with dyslexia. I had no clue. I know adults with it that I would have never known to have it until it somehow came into conversation.

What Next?

Well, they are gonna test his hearing and vision. He will have some classroom observations. Academic Achievement assessment in the specific areas of worry. Spelling, reading, and math. Intellectual Functioning. Also, a review on somethings we already have a baseline for.

Now I Know Some Parents Would Not Do This I Have

I have told Aiden up front about this. Because it is already changing his schedule at school to get a better assessment. I have tried explaining how this works. Meaning explaining what dyslexia is. He has a good friend with a pretty sevier case. Aiden doesn’t judge her. Remember he has been around my non verbal special needs brother his entire life. But, now he starts either trying to joke about it….how he deals with something’s or he’s seriously asking me if he’s stupid. Which he isn’t. He is smarter in a lot of areas that most adults aren’t. I don’t want this to denfine him. This is a safe place for me to speak up to mostly strangers. I don’t feel like speaking out to some I know. I rather wait until we know more.

My question is this, how many of you have this diagnosis? How have you handled it and how can I help him realize he isn’t stupid as he says?

I feel bad because I have pushed him saying I know you can do better. Hoping it was laziness. I can’t do that any longer.

I Hope All Is Well

Blessed Be

Deep Thoughts Of A Mom Once Scilence Takes Over (Kind Of)

So, 9:30 hit which means kids bed times. I should go to bed but, this is one of those nights that I have a hundred thoughts going on. Like we need to set up to file our taxes. I use to do them but, now that we own a house the insurance bullshit and the fact that itemizing is a better deduction then standard I figure let a professional do it. It is a friend of mine who’s dad owns the CPA firm. I am happy to give you there info if you are close to Knoxville and do not have a regular tax guy or gal and while you are there you can try to pick me out of the wrestling hall of fame on there one wall where they owned and ran TXW wrestling for a bit, before The Dirty White Boy took the book, killed the federation and went back to that midget snake in the grass Terry Landel…..hey I think a click bait Idea just hit me. Use Terry Landel in a title on YouTube soon. He is hated even by Cornette (I hope I spelled his name right since he was a big influnce on the things I have done in the buisness, He has a great Terry Landel story he told on a pod cast once and it is great. If you are not local. Look up Terry Landel and Smokey Mountain wrestling. My ex husband worked for him when just starting out. He says he could not afford to pay him what he would have to have to work for that dumb ass again. He is so hated. I tried to get my hands on him when I was pregnant with my daughter. My then husband was stopped by him and he hates him as well as 99.999% of the knoxville and surrounding areas. Darren stopped and said hi and he said, this is my wife Jennifer ( Now I looked like a cow by this point lol). Landel took a look at me, looked me up and down and stopped at my pregnant belly and said I can see you done fucked up with this one. Saying that getting me pregnant was a mistake. That is a death wish to say such bull shit infront of a pregnant woman. I think someone should write a book in good taste; things you just do not say to, or in front of a pregnant woman. Some really need a manual. Can I get an amen from other moms out there?

I realised tonght after we left the soccer meeting for the middle schools boys soccer team that 1) Katie is much taller then I realised for her age and they were disapointed that she did not play on the boys team last year. Aiden standing next to boys his age makes him look like he is 5 in comparrison lol. He did not hesitate to ask if he could play keeper lol. Even thought they had 3 already. One they were not sure if he would be used. I bet one thing, none can put that ball like Aiden and I think that they are misjudging his size which pisses me off. Size means nothing. He is not afraid of shit. Ball gets in his box he will dive and cover it until the whistle is blown. Taking any kicks that were thrown. He can put IN the other goal if he wants lol. I hate that shit. They always said Katie was to small and she was gonna get hurt. She was the biggest on the team. Maybe not weight but, with those legs she can out run most because it doesn’t take as much for her to get from point A to point B. She is also agressive and was the only one on that team that would slide tackle. Girls that have played since 4 said they won’t slide tackle. She LOVED it. Aiden has played one on one with her. He can handle this. He will shock them. First time they see him punt like everyone else there jaws will drop. His biggest issue is his size he works twice as hard to protect the goal and relise on a great defence to help him especially if he comes forward to challenge a ball.

Tomorrow Is Valentine’s Day Whoopty Doo!

All realness I hate valentines day. My husband knows that but, I know that he will still buy me something. It won’t be a new gun this year but that is fine. I really rather skip it. I have lost a dear friend on valentines day when I was 17 and I just have not felt the mood to celebrate the Hallmark holiday. But, I am a good sport for him. My idea since we have a sitter, get plastered and play video games all weekend. What is your plans? Is it something you do make a big deal out of it? I really don’t see the point because we show and express our love all the time not just one day a year. We do get the kids something too. Honestly all I want is a stuffed sloth or a stuff pink flamingo.

This Bitch Keeps Following Me

OK I know a lot of you know who this person is I am not gonna use any names accociated with this situation. I do not want the drama this cum dumpster usually brings with her bought army that she paid for showing tits and ass and have them all beliving she is a great artist this naturally beautiful curvy woman with a great ass. He has to stand a certain way or she just has a flat fat ass. I have seen pics where she is actually pulling up as it seems to be sliding down her legs. She has had a recent weight loss. Maybe she threw up the other body she ate. I don’t know. I do know that several that had her nudes, yes the ones she claimed she never done and thought she could just remove them but, someone apparently had them downloaded and uploaded them on a free porn site lol. BYE a future real jobs. I am not one to usually slut shame or body shame but, she loves to do it to any girl she is jealous of or she feels threatened by them. Or they just don’t agree with her on something so she acts like a bad boss bitch behind a screen or on the phone. We learned last year or 2 that she is nothing but, all talk. A lot of us that know her in real life know what a shit person she is. Her facebook sheep don’t. Not yet. She will slowly expose herself. I think some do know they just don’t care as long as she is uploading naked to nude simulation photos on every social media platform. Guys and some gals if you look you’ll find the nudes you have wanted and that she claimed was never done and you will see, she is not built as she portrays herself. She told me once she does shit like that because she has low self esteem……yea. I do not try to expose her because I have enough evidence to do so because she is a social path and will always convince others she is the victim when she is the snake in the grass.

Recently, she launched a clothing line saything that each desgin a portion goes to a charity. Seems to change I personally would not spend the money on them witout proof of how much of each sale goes to the charity. A few look like a rip off. Or an “inspired by” image. One looks like what is actually a disney character. I am sure they would have a hayday with her. She is so stupid she belives the dumbest shit and denies the truth. Anyway, my point being I said from the get go, I doubted that she was sole owner. Sole desginer or if she even owned the company or a guy that is seen in a few of her videos does and is using her as a spokesmodle and saying it is her company (pppssstttt most from her home area hate her and there are usually very good reasons why!) Anyway, I learned that she used a “best friend” who worked for her for either 2 or 3 monthes helping her with deigns and such. No credit given to that person which is a common thing with her. She also would not even give this person a free shirt for all the help he gave her. That is not how you treat a friend or just someone willing to help you. I said for years she uses people and will continue because no one wants to think she will do it to them. So is art theft. She won’t even give credit to another artist for inspiring some work that some would look at as a rip off instead of inspration. She blocks people who spout the truth on her stuff. She wants no one to know that some of her so called art some parts were not made by her yet another artist or mass produced in china. She would throw together like $3 necklaces maybe $5 and sell them for ungodly amounts. She never sold shit until she started showing tits and ass. Normally I would not care about that shit but, She is just an awful person! She dragged my daughter into some of her drama who at the time may have been 12 or so? There is A LOT more I can go into that would involve stories of others and I am just not gonna go there they are amazing and do not deserve her childish bullshit.

By the way, I find it hilarious that forever, everytime a guy friend met her they seriously thought she was transgender I kid you not. One got really mad and argued with me until I mentioned it to her in front of him. Now, she lost weight and has tits the size of all the girls she has made fun of in the past. Plus, so many that know of her have legit asked me if she was ever pregnant when they seend nudes or her. She has more stretch marks with no kids then I do with 2 kids and 3 pregnacies (I lost a child at the end of the 1st trimester). That makes me laugh so hard! So much has been happening lately that I see about her and I realise that all the bad shit she has done is in one way or another bitting her in the ass. I just hope her boyfriend or fiance whatever it is this week cheats on her as much as she has him. He is a great guy and puts up with her and her whoreish thot ways. She would never be a house wife. She also will ballon back up when she stops getting her pictures made for free and call herself a model. Now, she has the clothing company which, there has been no proof that she donated shit to the charities that I have been able to find so far. I never help out a charity in the sense of buying something and a portion is going to a charity. I want to see how much and PROOF that it is being sent. Fraud is against the law.

She called me once when we were still friends asking me how to lie to the foodstamp office because they wanted her to work a job and if she used the money she made online that would cut her off she made $2,000 in a month single, no kids, no bills. I mean NO BILLS. Her father paid her bills until she suckered her sweet boyfriend into taking over. While she will go to a show and tell him he is not allowed. Yet she is a c-u-n-t.

I am waiting because when it all comes out guess what there are so many I told you sos waiting to be said. Like thousands. My kids that love everyone hate her after metting her lol. She sure is a peach.

On Other News

Who watches gaming videos? Me and the kids are thinking about streaming video game play sometimes to add additional content to my channel now that I think I have it figured out. We have some great games as well as some fun cheesy kid games.

But, YAY Aiden will be on the boys soccer team! I am happy for him. With his health it is good for him to be out in the freash air playing and getting exerise! Poor Katie was near tears because she misses it but, with her newly diagnosed condition I think Soccer would push it. Plus to be so young, she constantly compains with her right knee (I think). She does not need to injur her body that fast. But, she loves band and playing music at home on the piano. Summer is gonna be interesting to say the least with this. It is gonna be a learning curve!

Sorry I got off on such a rant! Love you all!

Life Is A Roller Coaster

Well, I know that I am very sproadic with my writting. I appologise. Honestly I have had one hell of the past few months. I know that the title is such an over used saying I am just mentally lazy at this point in time.

 

I do not remember exactly when I last posted or what it was even about. Sorry I did not even look before starting. So, I will go over everything that I know that has not been posted here. I know I post a lot about food allergy and such. So many still struggle to believe that food allergies are real and many have their own thoughts as to why. I personally think it is how horrible our food quality is unless you grow/raise your own. Nothing about my life is boring. I am still working on that book I started over a year ago lol. I am slowly working on it as I can. I have been busy trying to hustle and make some money. Bills, bills, bills! Kids are expensive they should have warned me!

 

                            I Finally Paid Off The Allergist/Asthma Doctor!

 

Yes! 2 years it has been! I did not do it alone! Those that buy things from me help, my ex husband helped, and I pinched every penny I could! that is a relief but, now I have about $600 or so I owe collectors over hospital bills. So, it is like I am rowing and staying in the same spot. I need a new car. It is always something I guess it would not be life if it wasn’t like that.

 

                                             My Granny Who I Adore Left

 

My grandmother which I call Granny passed in September. I have been broken since. She has always been very special to me. She was ok  I mean for her age. Then she just stopped thriving. When they sent hospice I went to her house. Aiden had the flu at the time so I needed to go while my husband was home. It broke my heart! She did not last a week while hospice was there. My mom called me around 9 or so on September the 24th yes the day before my birthday. Said, if I wanted to see her I needed to come soon that she was not gonna survive the night likely. I got there and she had the gurgles, some of you will know exactly what I was talking about. I crawled in her bed as best as I could not to hurt her. I held her hand and stroked her hair and I talked to her. I won’t go into what I said I would like that to remain between me and my Granny. She just stopped breathing and I did not want to say anything to anyone in the room yet. I wanted to make sure that she was just breathing shallow. She gasped and that was it. I had my daughter leace the room so I could tell my mom and the lady that had been setting with her who once was married to my cousin. She is a sweet lady I always liked her.

 

It all happened like a scene from a movie one that is always on repeate in my head now. It sucks. I do not really know any other way to put it. I miss her. I catch myself wanting to call her. Life just is not the same without her here. Though I know that she is still here with me.

 

                                     Aiden Has A Sucky Immune System

 

Yea we are not shocked. He had the flu in September of 2017 and then again in januaray of 2018 and guess what? I got it too and I get vaccinated. He has had hand, foot, ad mouth disease, Strep, and scarlet fever rash all at once. It was all going around school and parents will send there kids to school sick. If you are one of those parents FUCK YOU! They (the sweet office ladies) said that parents will treat a fever in the morning and send the kid to school and hope they do not get a call so they can go on to work or they do not get to lay around and be lazy. Guess what? Kids like my son go to public school. Some are worse off then he is. Keep your sick kids home. They will heal faster being home and symptoms treated. The high school. It is even WORSE! Otherwise he has been a little peach. When Granny died I seen how much that boy loves me. He would ask for me but, I laid with Granny until they made me move. She left with her hand still in the shape it was holding mine. But, he would ask for me or if I was ok. He said, I am sad my granny is gone but, I really hate mom crying. That broke my heart and made me really try not to cry infront of him. I have to go to a meeting at 6 this evening about Boys soccer for the middle school. I will update on if he makes it!

 

                                                           Katie Is A Vampire

 

Yea she really is kinda she has a thing called solar urticaria. Allergy to the sun and to extreme temps I do not know what the last half is called except crazy. So, I have had to learn a lot on this. But, I a glad that I have an answer for the mystery rashes and hives she was getting. Do you know what Solar Urticaria is? What? No? Where have you been? Seriously though it is like rare like 5% of the population or something like that have it. Anyway here is a video I put together which watch the volume it is high then goes down then get loud again because I suck at editing. You can view this here.

 

She has more like the first story. Not the last one. While you are there if you wanna help a momma out subscribe please and give us a thumbs up. I have joked with her telling her that she is a vampire lol. I told her she is a Twlight vampire because she don’t feed on humans. Explains why she likes steaks still mooing. Just making the best out of the situation and laugh. She is a sweet, smart girl with a great sense of humor. She is doing GREAT in band. I have a ton of videos of her performing with her band mates during marching season and then orchestra on my youtube which is http://www.youtube.com/monroefayte subscribe while you are there. I never know what I will upload daily. Just whatever I feel needs to be up. She sure has grown too since I started this. She is 5’8 just turned 15 on Christmas Eve.

 

When my Granny passed I seen how strong Katie was. She did not like the gurgles so she would not really come in the living room. But, once I told mom and the other lady that Granny had left she came back in after we made all the calls and such that needed to be made. Katie would come in then and hug me. She cried but, I feel like in that moment she was stronger then I was. I am proud of the amazing young woman she is turning into. No one really bothered me or her as they came in. Some hugged me. Some spoke. Some didn’t come in while we were there I do not know if it was because there was so many in such a small room. One tried to make me feel better telling me that she must be waiting on me to come and talk to her. But, I had been there before. One of the days me and my cousin got her to eat some jello and drink a little water. I swear sometimes she was pretending to be asleep to avoid being bothered. She would open her eyes and give me a smile or a kiss. Maybe utter something. Then, next minuet she would not aknowledge others. She was a stinker like that. She loved Katie and went on about how pretty and smart and talented she was.

 

                                                            In Closing

 

I do not know what else to add at this point other then I really need to add subscribers to my YouTube channel. They are changing rules for moneitization yet again. I am sure it is to STOP all the smaller channels that are making money unable to until they are bringing a lot more traffice to their site. Which is crazy. I know I have a few that really only watch my videos (yes one is my mom she loves me). The other is a friend and she watches my videos and maybe music. I am really upping the content right now to attempt to get new subscribers so I can hit the amount needed so I do not lose the money that I have already since I do not get paid until I have $100. That is the minimum. I am ever so close to that $100 and I have not been monetized that long! So, please click here subscribe please!

 

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Isn’t she beautiful. She is so proud in that uniform!